How to have a great birthday – advice from an expert
Step one: Don't go to work.
Start by collecting some presents. Immediate reception of gifts is key – especially those gifts one can use right away and carry around all day. Then you should eat something. Something delicious. Somewhere calm. Breakfast at Nana looks like huevos rancheros.
After breakfast is a good time for adventure. If you've always wondered what's on the other side of that big hill at Halsted and 30th, now is the time to find out. Spoiler alert: It's an amazing nature reserve filled with wildflowers, waterfalls, and butterflies! It's one unicorn short of a Taylor Swift music video.
You might have to run some errands. Yes, it's because you were irresponsible and let your credit card expire. No, you don't want to go to the bank, but when you eventually find that contact lens prescription, you're going to want to be capable of buying things from the Internet again. Besides the dog needs food. And you might as well stop at Michael's for craft paper. Oh? What's that? You also need to stop and pick up the wedding rings because – BIRTHDAY MIRACLE! – they are finally ready today? No problem. Let's be responsible. And then let's cheat and wear a wedding ring around even though it isn't technically ours yet. Don't judge me. It was my birthday.
It's snacktime. Churros and softserve from XOCO taste like summer.
Take in a film! Note to self: Maybe pick one that is a little more upbeat and birthday appropriate.
Blood, alien ooze, infections, and fiery deaths don't really say, "Yum! I'm excited for my birthday dinner after this!"
Dinner should be somewhere fun and special. If you need reservations a month in advance, make sure someone responsible is in charge. Have oysters for the first time! If you're going to find out you are allergic, it might as well be while you're still under your mother's healthcare plan. Plus, they are melty, briny, and fantastic. Celebrate with a French 75! (...or two.)
And if you accidentally end up in an alley with a new bag, flashy earrings, and a diamond ring hidden in your pocket for an impromptu, way-official, semi-dangerous photo shoot, try to compose yourself and make straight faces.